


Seaweed Dreams

by sksNinja



Series: Couldn't Hate You If I Tried [3]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Barbecue, Gen, M/M, The part where shit starts getting serious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-19
Packaged: 2018-04-12 16:16:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4486311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sksNinja/pseuds/sksNinja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the thought somehow jams itself in Sanji's head he can't get rid of it.  It's stupid.  And he's stupid!  And YOU'RE STUPID!  <br/>It really only goes downhill from there.</p><p>Too bad Sanji promised that BBQ.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Short Hair

**Author's Note:**

> Continuation of the "Couldn't Hate You If I Tried" series. It might make more sense to read the other parts first, but you don't necessarily have to. Enjoy the drama!

Sanji gasped.  He reached his hands to grab the back of the couch, the armrest, anything.  How long had it been since he’d had this?  Too long.  It had been too long.  Light kisses danced across his inner thigh.  Hands slowly molded around the base of his cock.  Sanji’s breath hitched as the soft wetness of their mouth engulfed him. Tongue sliding slowly.  Fingers threading gently.  More.  He needed more.  As though they could read his mind they took him deeper and faster, their throat humming with pleasure.  Sanji threw his head back as his hands came forward to grasp the short head of hair between his thighs.  Wait, _short_ hair?  Pulling himself from the brink of release, he looked down to see green.

 

\---

 

Sanji woke with a start. Sweaty, tangled in bedsheets, and hard as fuck… again. This was the third time this week.  He looked over at the clock.  It was still early but there was hardly any chance of getting back to sleep now.  He rolled off the bed and headed to the bathroom.

 

Looking down at the tent of his boxers he grew irritated. “I’ve got to pee,” he mumbled to his erection. He furrowed his eyebrows. “So fuck off!”

 

That was the problem wasn’t it?  When was the last time he'd got laid?  And this?  This right here?  Fucking Zoro’s fault for sure.  Well, maybe it reallywasn’t but damn, it sure felt that way.

 

It had started after their trip to the Mall of America.  He’d fallen asleep on the ride home and woke up in the dark hours of the morning to find himself snuggled into Zoro.  His own hands laid upon Zoro's chest, and the bastard with his arm around his shoulder.  The idiot was sleeping as well of course, his stupid head lolled over the back of the bench seat, all peaceful and shit.  Sanji had sat frozen in his seat for several minutes trying work out what to do.  When he squirmed to work his way out from under Zoro's grasp he just got pulled in tighter.  He was trapped!  Well, it wasn't that uncomfortable really.  It was cozy and warm, and he surprisingly didn't smell like gross man sweat.  It was more like... lemon grass and sandalwood.

 

He had been on the edge of giving in and going back to sleep when he spotted Luffy with his phone.  Suddenly it wasn't okay.  At that point he’d decided that he'd rather evoke the rage of an angry bear in a seatbelt, than to think about what photographic evidence of him and Zoro cuddling might mean.  Maybe he didn’t need to wake the man by shoving the idiot’s head against the van’s window, but you had to admit it was rather effective.

 

They'd spent the rest of the ride pouting silently while Sanji tried not to brush legs with Zoro.  Yet ever since then little unbidden thoughts about Zoro snuck into his head at random hours of the day.

 

While brushing his teeth he thought of the the time Zoro showed up high on pain meds from getting his wisdom teeth pulled, demanding Sanji make him “soft ice” (the idiot wanted a slushy).

 

Once when putting on his shoes he thought of the time Zoro stepped in dog shit and then decided the best way to wash it off was to stroll through a nearby creek.  He ultimately fell in and spent the rest of the day refusing to answer why half his pants were wet.

 

Then there was the other day when he saw a couple leaning together at the bus stop.  That reminded him of Zoro's sleeping face laid softly against- FUCK.  Why was this happening?!  It didn't make sense!  It pissed him off!  It pissed him off that it pissed him off!  What did that even it mean!?  What did any of it mean?!  What was he supposed to do?

 

Sanji pulled his mind back to reality.  The whole thing was just frustrating.  No, not frustrating. That sounded weird.  Uh, angry.  Yeah.  Anger was safe.  Zoro made Sanji angry... and nothing else.  Damn, he needed a shower.  No, a shower was a bad idea right now.  His pants twitched uncomfortably at the thought.  Fuck this morning was shot.  Maybe a cigarette or two would help.

 

\---

 

Next week found Sanji in what could only be described as a nervous wreck. Fighting his daydreams was a constant struggle and that short green hair appeared nearly every night.  The lack of sleep was catching up to him.  Every ashtray in the house was stuffed full.  He _had_ to get his act together by tomorrow.  The guys barbecue cook-out had been planned since the night they'd gone out for chicken wings, and while he was sure Luffy wouldn't fucking notice burnt food, he knew he’d never live it down.  He needed a plan.  It was time to call Nami.

 

“Nami!  My darling!  My Love!  Are you coming to the BBQ tomorrow night?  You simply must!  What are the other girls up to?  Bring Robin!  What about Vivi?  Oh and Kaya!  The more the merrier!”

 

“Uh, Sanji?” Nami tried to interrupt.

 

“I know it's supposed to be guys night thing but it's been _hours_ since I've seen a beautiful lady and who could be more beautiful than you!  My poor beating heart simply couldn't take it if you said no!”

 

“Sanji, we're actually-” Nami tried again.

 

“So you'll be there?  Fantastic!  See you then!” *click* Sanji's expression fell slack.  He was disgusted with his own behavior, especially for hanging up on a girl.  He looked down at the phone in his hands, waiting to see if Nami would call him back to say no.  The moment passed.  With a sigh of relief he sunk into a nearby chair.  He hadn't seen the girls in a while either.  Their presence would surely help!

 

\---

 

Wrong. It was all so _fucking wrong_.  Sanji felt like he was surrounded by cracked glass.  That at any second everything around him was going to shatter and spray and cut.

 

He'd flinched when Robin tapped his shoulder to greet him as he set up the grill.  He'd been lost in thought remembering the first time Zoro openly complimented his cooking that he hadn't heard her approach.  Since when was he so afraid of human contact?!  He was so on edge it was as if any small touch would send him tumbling over.  What the fuck was wrong with him?!  

 

When Franky stepped up with one of his arm crushing high-fives Sanji slipped to run his hand through his hair at the last second, brushing it off with a chuckle.

 

When Luffy ran up to jump piggyback he swiftly sidestepped and the boy had crashed face first onto the pavement.  He didn't even feel bad.

 

Even when Vivi, beautiful _beautiful_ Vivi, whom he hadn't seen in _ages_ , who had found time to visit, he found himself unable move towards her!  He wanted to run and hug!  To grasp her little face in his hands and kiss her cheeks her forehead, and if he would dare, the corner of her soft little lips.

 

Instead he stood several feet away, hands clasped together and muttering compliments and praises of joy at her presence like a prepubescent teen noticing a girl's bra strap for the first time.

 

Even Usopp was a better flirt tonight!  His long nosed friend had floated between Kaya and the cooler for a good five minutes before presenting her with every possible drink option.  She'd laughed and thanked him.  Now the two were sitting close, telling dumb stories, and making gooey eyes at each other.  IT JUST WASN'T RIGHT.  Although, what frustrated him the most, more than anything else, was the fact that Zoro was late.

 

\---

 

Nami stood off to the side, arms crossed, watching Sanji.  Something was definitely off.  That weird phone call, his stiff behavior, he'd barely made eye contact anyone, but what was it?!  She'd asked Robin, but while she too had noticed the change in behavior, she didn't know what might have caused it.  Would Luffy know?  The kid was a dense as a brick but he had his moments.  She shrugged.  It was worth a shot.

 

She found Luffy by the snack table.  Unable to decide what chips should go with which dips, he was painstakingly taking one of each kind of chip, carefully holding them together, dunking them in each dip in turn, and then stuffing the whole soggy mess into his mouth.  Nami watched in disgust as he licked his fingers and stuck his hand in another bag.

 

“Uhg, Luffy hold on a sec,” Nami said while walking towards the table.

 

“What?  Oh!  I washed my hands!”  Luffy wiped his palms on his pants, leaving crumbly grease marks.

 

“Yeah,”  Nami responded sarcastically.  “I'm sure you did.  Probably sometime yesterday.”  The boy gave a wide smile as though it were a compliment.  She waved her hands to the side “But that's not why I'm here.” She leaned a hand on the table and gave him a more serious look.  “What's up with Sanji?”

 

A confused expression covered Luffy's face.  “What do you mean?”  He looked over at the blonde staring blankly at the now empty grill.  He'd finished up a little a bit ago but hadn’t moved to serve the food.

 

“What do I mean!?”  Nami waved her hands in Sanji's direction.  “Just look at him!  He's hardly done anything since we got here!  He's not talking, he's not _flirting_ , I don't think he's even lit a cigarette!  What happened!?”

 

Taking the matter more seriously, Luffy bend forward, lent his hands on his knees, and squinted his eyes. “OOOOHHHH!”  He straightened up and started laughingly.  “Oh he's fine.”  He turned back to the snack table.  “Just needs to get laid.”

 

“A- Wha-you?,” Nami sputtered.  “How do you figure THAT?!”  The words came so unexpected from Luffy that she had to sort through what he'd actually said.  “Well," she paused.  "I guess that makes sense.”

 

Nami watched as the chef covered the meat in foil, set it off to the side, and methodically began to clean the grill.  'But then why avoid everyone?' she thought.  It wasn't like he had a chance with anyone here, but Sanji’s flirting was fun and light hearted, and honestly it was flattering.  It had to be something serious.  “So you think he's got a new crush or something?” Nami thought out loud.

 

Luffy turned to her with a mouth full of something and crackers. “Ya en asidz Oro?”  He mumbled with crumbs flying.

 

“Oh my god!  Swallow your damn food!”  Nami snapped. The hell was wrong with that boy?

 

He chewed, swallowed, and showed his obnoxiously bright smile.  “You mean besides Zoro?”

 

“ZORO?!” Nami shrieked.

 

There was a loud clatter off to the side as everyone turned to look.  Sanji had knocked the grill over, spilling cooling ashes onto the concrete patio.  Yet Sanji was looking towards the front of the house.  Seeing nothing he glanced back at Nami, flashed scarlet, and bend down to tend to the fallen grill.

 

“Luffy... my god” Nami commented softly.  She looked back at him, “You can't be serious.”  There was simply no way it could be true, but still, that reaction had been more than coincidental.

 

“Oh sure!”  Responded Luffy, seemingly unsurprised by the whole thing.  “Here look!”  He pulled his phone from his pocket, moved through the menu and passed it to Nami.

 

Looking down at the dark picture in her hands she debated whether or not she should laugh.  Zoro and Sanji were asleep in the back seat of what she recognized as Usopp's van.  Those seats were hideous.

 

Sanji was leaned into Zoro's chest, arms wrapped tightly around him.  Zoro was leaning into the embrace as well, one arm wrapped possessively behind Sanji's shoulder, the other gripped onto his forearm.  Perhaps most intimate were their expressions.  Zoro’s face was laid on the top of Sanji's head, giving the appearance that he was kissing his hair.  The look was unbelievably gentle.  It really was something else.

 

“Oh and you have _got_ to see the next one!”  Luffy leaned over and swiped the photo to the side.  Zoro’s head was leaned back and a slowly waking Sanji was starring with growing terror at his current predicament. The next showed him arching his head back only to have Zoro lean into his chest and grab him tightly around the middle.  Then there was a softer picture with Sanji looking down at the green haired man, almost smiling in defeat.

 

Luffy took his phone back and continued swiping through the pictures.  “The rest are all blurry. He caught me looking and threw a fit.”  He turned the phone back at Nami smiling.  “This one's pretty good though.”  It showed Sanji sitting stiffly with his arms crossed, staring daggers at the camera, while Zoro was bent over, holding his head between his knees.

 

Was it true then?  Was it that simple?  Did Sanji have a crush on Zoro?  Nami turned to stare pointedly at Sanji.  Not that he would have noticed.  Zoro had finally arrived.

 

\---

 

Sanji was practically shaking, but with what emotion he did not know.  He'd all but broken out into a run when he spotted Zoro.  He'd spent all afternoon avoiding personal contact, then almost ran to hug the asshole who put him in this predicament in the first place!  He was fucking late!  Thank goodness he’s made it!  He'd been waiting for hours!  Did he know how worried he’d been!?  Sanji stood torn between emotions, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, saying nothing.

 

Zoro was busy talking to some of the others.  Robin said something and Zoro set down the case of beer he’d brought and cocked his head.  He turned and gave Sanji a serious look.  After a few seconds pause he yelled out, “Oi, shit-cook. You alright?”

 

'He noticed!  He can tell somethings wrong!'  Sanji's mind bounced from happy to terrified. 'Oh God!  What if he can tell?!  What if he knows!?  Knows What?!  What’s Going On!?!  FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP STARING AT HIM!'

 

Sanji yelled back something that might have been “Need-to-House-Room!” and hurried inside.

 

Great.  Now he was alone in the kitchen while everyone else was outside.  Luffy had probably torn open the tinfoil on the meat as soon as he’d gone through the doorway.  This cook-out was an absolute disaster.

 

He reached for a bottle on top of the fridge and took a swig.  Oof, what shit whiskey was this?   He glared at the bottle.  It was probably some crap Zoro left the last time the boys were over.  He thought for a moment and took another drink.  It wasn’t like things could get any worse.

 

Sanji trudged down the hall to his bedroom and slammed the door.  He sat on the end of bed, bottle in hand.  He was just so tired.  If he could just get a decent nights sleep then surely things would go back to normal.  He tipped back another swig as he thought how nice it would be to just lay back next to Zoro and take a nap.  He nearly choked on the shit booze as his thoughts caught up with him.   He coughed and leaned forward on his knees as his throat burned.

 

Standing, he moved to the adjacent bathroom and stared at his reflection.  His eyes were heavy, his hair a mess.  Damn he looked like shit.  Wrong.  It was wrong.  These thoughts he was having!  It wasn’t right!   It just wasn’t _fair_!  A thought flitted across his mind.  What if he... maybe… just maybe.  He set down the bottle with a determined look on his face.  

 

Sanji undid his fly and purposefully slid his hands down.   First rubbing through his pants, then shortlyafter, hands on skin.  For once he let his imagination run wild.  ‘Getting caught in the cold rain, peeling the damp clothes off of each other to get warm... Getting stuck in an elevator, the air _so_ heavy and really now, it’s too warm to be wearing clothes....  Stumbling across Zoro in a hot tub, completely and unabashedly naked.’

 

Sanji was muttering out loud now. “Damn seaweed head.  With your dark eyes and fucking arms.”  He leaned back against the wall, eyes closed.  “You’d like it wouldn't you Zoro?  My hands running up and down your goddamn abs, teasingly sliding over your fucking cock.”  He tightened the grip on his own and moaned.

 

He didn’t hear when the bedroom door opened.

  
“Oh yeah?”  Sanji continued.  “What about your mouth on _my_ goddamn cock huh?  How about that?!  That fucking ball of moss right _there,_ right... “  Sensing something Sanji trailed off and slid his eyes open.  Both hands on his dick, pants halfway down his ass, Zoro stood in the doorway.


	2. Meanwhile With Moss-Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoro is always on time and never gets lost and- is that cat following him?

Zoro was dreaming.  He had to be.  Blowjobs were never this good in real life.  A soft hum brought a moan past his lips.  He was sitting, no, laying on a bed.  Yes.  Nice and comfy.  Lots of pillows.  He gazed lazily at the figure now nuzzling and kissing his inner thigh. They had long blond hair, no, short hair.  Was that an eyebrow?  Oh, it was Sanji.  Well that was fine.  Dream Sanji was good at this kind of thing.   He pulled back and gazed up at Zoro with a slight smile but an intense glare.  If only he didn't look so pissed off all the time...

 

Zoro opened his eyes to sunlight streaming through the window.  Damn, he'd thought about it too much to stay asleep.  He grumbled and rubbed at his face.  This sucked.  These kind of dreams always built up but never really delivered.  He laid there uncomfortably for a minute.  Really only one thing to do.  He reached over for the lotion.

 

Sitting on the edge of the bed, he rolled down his boxers, smoothed the lotion in his hands, and grabbed hold.  He closed his eyes and simply breathed. *Inhale* Exhale*  Ah dammit.  He was never good at this imagination shit.  He needed something to ground himself.

 

The dream fresh in his mind, his thoughts turned to memories of the blonde.  Sanji stretching his hands after dicing vegetables... Sanji's embarrassed laughter after getting caught in the rain... Sanji glaring at him for who knows what he did this time, his harsh gaze, that obnoxious eyebrow twitching...  All unremarkably simple memories, and yet...

 

Shifting his hands tighter, Zoro laid back and thrust his palms.  Slowly at first, then with increasing speed.  He concentrated on the dream.  The bright blue of his eyes.  The smell of dish soap and old cigarettes.  The feel of that tongue sliding up his thigh.  Zoro’s breathing intensified.  Sweating slightly, head thrown back, a mumbled cry tore from his throat and he came messily into his hands.  He lay there for a time, panting heavily while coming back down.  Heh, well that didn’t take long.  What would Sanji think if he saw him like this?   Disgusted no doubt.  For all his smug cleverness he was surprisingly close-minded when it came to stuff like this.

 

After a few moments he got up to wash his hands.  He gazed in the mirror above the sink and smirked.  He probably should feel bad for thinking of his friend in such a way, and yet he couldn’t manage it.  Just the thought of Sanji finding out?  Picturing the blond’s reaction?  It churned his insides in some kind of sick pleasure.

 

Well... it wasn’t like _that_ was ever going to happen.  He and the shit-cook could hardly hold a conversation without arguing.  They were just too different.  Zoro stretched his arms over his head and flexed his back.  He’d jog to the gym, work out, walk back, take a shower, and have plenty of time before Sanji’s barbecue.  His mouth watered at the thought.  For as much crap as he gave him, that man really knew his food.  He just could never resist egging him on.  Antagonizing the bastard was just too much fun.  

 

He grinned at his reflection. Yeah!  It was going to be the perfect afternoon.  Nothing was going to stop him today!

 

\---

 

Zoro stopped on the sidewalk and turned around.  It was definitely following him.

 

He’d noticed the cat a few blocks back, shortly after leaving the gym.   He’d made several turns since then, and while it had shifted its path (from the sidewalk, to the fenceline, to across the street), it’d always kept just barely Zoro in it's sights.  Almost as if it didn’t want Zoro to know he was being followed.  How obnoxious.

 

It was one of those stupid poofy cats too.  The ones that always look grumpy and spend half their lives just grooming themselves.  Even as Zoro glared it sat nonchalantly licking an orange paw and smoothing it over it's face.

 

Zoro picked up his pace and made a random turn down a side street.  The cat picked up it’s head and trotted to follow.  No matter what way he went or how fast he changed directions that stupid cat managed to keep pace.  All without appearing to exert itself at all.  It was frustrating.   He turned to face the animal.

 

“What the hell is your problem?!” He yelled at it.

 

It looked at him from it’s perch on a decorative stone wall, yawned, and laid it’s head on it’s forpaws.  Whatever, he didn’t have time for this shit.  He’d wasted too long as it was.   Just ignore the stupid thing and head home.  

 

Okay… so, he turned down that street and then _that_ one and... uh.  Shit.  Well if he just headed in this direction he was pretty sure that’d he’d make it home eventually.

 

A few steps late Zoro was interrupted by an abrupt,  “merow.”

 

The cat stood at his ankles, it's puffed tail sticking straight up.

 

“Oh what?  Now that I’m not paying attention to you you’re pissed?” He turned to walk away.

 

“Merawr!”  It swiped angrily at Zoro’s shoe and jumped back.

 

“Hey!”  He turned back around.  “Look you stupid little shit I don’t have t- FUCK!”  The cat swiped at his ankles this time.

 

Zoro crouched down to rub the back of his leg while the cat took the chance to dash forward and scratch the back of his hand.

 

“AH FAAaaaa,”  Zoro swallowed his swear noticing a couple of kids watching him from the front yard across the street.

 

“Ah, ha ha.”  He called out lamely. “Don’t mind me!  Just catching my cat!” He turned back to the animal.    
  


“Now come here kitty kitty kitty,” he said through ground teeth.

 

The cat huffed, and turned to trot in the opposite direction.

 

“The hell is it going?” He straightened up to chase after it.  

 

Down one street, then a turn.  Did it go over there?   No wait, there it is.  That stupid thing could move fast when it wanted to.  Oh!   It turned into that front yard and… it was Zoro’s house.

 

The cat sat on the front step, licked it’s paw and began regrooming it’s face.  Zoro stood and stared at it.  After a moment the cat huffed and scratched at the door.  What?   Did it expect a reward or something?   Well, it was blocking the door.  Not like he had much of a choice.   He opened the door and let it in.

 

\---

 

The wind blew, stretching the curtains across the living room.  Huh, he didn’t remember having curtains.  Zoro watched as the flowing swirls curled into a thick white smoke.  

‘Smoke?  Was something on fire?’  Zoro thought, suddenly tense.   ‘Wait, is that cigarette smoke?”

 

As he stared the swirls darkened and formed shape.  A singular swirled eyebrow took form.  

 

“Oh it's you.” Zoro relaxed in the armchair.  ‘When had he sat down?  Oh well, it didn’t matter.  Not with _that_ look in his eyes.”

 

The blonde took a drag from his cigarette.  Blowing it in a long stream as he closed the distance to Zoro.  Sliding one knee between Zoro’s legs and wrapping both his arms behind his head Sanji leaned in to nibble an earlobe.  

 

Zoro closed his eyes and leaned his head to the side.  Taking the chance,  Sanji trailed kisses down his jawline onto his neck.  Soft kisses and light bites danced across his throat.  Zoro gasped up at the ceiling, keeping himself as still as possible.  Sanji was like a cat.  Move too fast and he’d bolt.  You just had to wait it out.  He came to you, you didn’t go to him.  

 

Lifting his head slightly, Sanji turned to look Zoro in the eye.  A soft smile spread across the cooks wet lips.

 

‘Smile-that-smile-that-goddamn-smile-he-loves-that-fucking-smug-ass-smile’  Zoro’s mild bubbles endlessly as he struggles to keep a shit-eating grin from spreading across his own face.

 

Sanji’s eyebrow quirks amusingly.  “Meow what’s so funny seaweed head?”

 

It takes Zoro a couple of seconds to catch it.  “I uh, wait.  What did you say?”

 

“Meroooow~” Sanji immediately nuzzles his head into Zoro’s face giving him a lovely mouthful of… fur?

 

Zoro opens his eyes.  He is in his recliner, he has blinds, not curtains, and the fucking cat is on his shoulder rubbing it’s face all over his.

 

Spitting and rubbing loose fur off his lips, Zoro scowled and stood up.  The cat all too happily jumped down onto the spot Zoro was sitting, curled up and started to purr.  Zoro glared down at the stupid creature.  That was probably its plan all the long.

 

Zoro glanced around the living room.  He hadn’t planned on taking a nap, what time was- Ohhhh shiiit.  He grabbed a case of beer, his keys, and ran out the door.

 

\---

 

Zoro sat in his car parked in front of Sanji’s place and considered his predicament.  In his rush to be only _slightly_ very late he’d refrained from grabbing his shoes.  Well, it wasn’t like it was cold out, and at least he remembered the beer.  He sighed while stepping out of the vehicle.  They probably wouldn't notice.

 

Shouldering the beer, he walked around the side of the house.  They must be out back, he could hear Luffy’s ridiculous laugher.

 

Franky spotted him first.  “Hey!  Z-man!  You made it!”  He slapped him loudly on the back and laughed, commenting on now they could finally eat.

 

“Wait,”  Zoro said.  “You guys haven’t eaten yet?  I half expected the food to be gone by now.”

 

Robin looked up at him with a curious smile.  “Yes well, much to Luffy’s disappointment, _someone_ insisted we wait until everyone was here.”  She glanced meaningfully in Sanji’s direction.

 

Zoro set down the beer and turned to look at the chef.   Protecting food from Luffy was normal enough, but letting the girls go hungry?  What was going on?  He struggled to think of something that was less Sanji-like.

 

“Oi!”  He called out.  “Shit-cook.  You alright?”

 

Sanji half smiled before panic crossed his face and looked like he swallowed a lemon.  Not even a come back?  He glanced around at the others.  Nami was staring at Sanji too.  Did he miss something?

 

He looked back at Sanji as the blonde yelled something about the house and scurried inside.  As if on cue, Luffy strolled up to the table by the grill, gave Zoro a thumbs up, and peeled back the foil on what looked like Sanji’s barbeque chicken.

 

Zoro walked over to Nami who was staring at the house with her hand on her chin.   He glanced over as well.  The back door wasn’t even closed all the way.  

 

“So…” Zoro started.  “Did I miss something or what?”

 

“No, no.”  Nami shook her head.  “I think I was the one who missed it.  I gotta go talk to Robin.”  With that she strolled off leaving Zoro as confused as ever.

 

Zoro looked around the backyard.  Franky and Usopp scrambled around the grill, trying to stack food on their plates as Luffy simply ate it straight out of the tinfoil wrapped pile.  The girls stood off to the side in what could only be described as a gossip circle.  Oh hey, Vivi and Kaya were here too.  Zoro hadn’t seen them in forever… and Sanji hadn’t fed them any of them.  Yeah, something was up.  With a sad glance at the swiftly disappearing pile of meat, Zoro followed Sanji into the house.

 

\---

 

Where did that dumb blonde go?  He wasn’t in the kitchen, the bathroom, or the living room.  He wasn’t in the basement or the pantry.   He wasn’t in the front yard and he hadn’t snuck out back again.  That left the bedroom.  The door was closed but he’d looked pretty much everywhere else. After a moment's hesitation he cracked open the door and stepped inside.

 

It smelled like… whiskey?  That didn’t make any sense Sanji didn’t drink tha-

 

Moaning.  There was some rather explicit moaning coming from the side bathroom.  And there,  right there, with the door wide open, leaning against the bathroom wall, was Sanji masterbating.   Zoro stood frozen.  He should stop staring.  He should back out slowly.  He should stop starting at the other man’s goddamn dick and wishing the bastards hands weren’t in the way so he could actually get a good look at the thing.

 

“Oh yeah?”  Sanji sneared. “What about your mouth on my goddamn cock huh?”  Zoro shouldn’t be listening to this he shouldn’t.  This was private and uninvited and _damn_ if he wasn’t going to have some good ‘hands on’ time for himself tonight.

 

“How about that?!” Sanji continued. “That fucking ball of moss right there, right…”  Sanji slowed and stopped.  He slid his eyes open and turned.  Shit.  Oh shit.

 

Zoro’s brain was stuck in some kind of sludge.  Instead of backing out slowly he had taken several steps into the room and now he’d been caught.  Zoro’s hands were clammy, he was breathing heavily, and what did he just say about moss?  What did moss have to do with anything?  I mean sometimes when he was insulting...

 

Zoro must have misheard.  

 

Sanji stood motionless while Zoro’s mind raced.  Possibilities raced through his mind without forming solid thoughts.  All the while he continued to take slow nervous steps toward the blonde.  

 

Zoro stood in the bathroom doorway his mouth dry.  “Y-you,”  he swallowed thickly.  Sanji stared at his lips. “Stop me if-”

 

Kissing.  They were kissing.  He tasted like alcohol and smoke and.. and something else.  A currently unused portion of his brain figured it was probably barbecue sauce,  but he wasn’t using his brain right now and OH YES Sanji was kissing his neck now.  

 

It was like his dream that afternoon.  Only Zoro was pressed up against a doorframe instead of sitting down, and the kisses on his neck were anything but soft and gentle.

 

Zoro’s hands sat on Sanji’s waist, and that was fine but he remembered how low those pants has been sitting and ohhh yes hands on ass was much better.  Now it was Sanji’s turn to be pressed up against the door and moan.

 

It went back and forth.  Zoro losing his belt, Sanji’s shirt being torn open,  Zoro’s knees going weak at a bite just behind his ear,  Sanji moaning something about Zoro’s ‘stupid fucking arms’ while Zoro most definitely left a mark on his clavicle.

 

It wasn’t until they almost tripped into the tub grinding on each other that they gave pause.

 

“I-” Sanji started breathlessly.  “I never thought that you’d- I mean that this would…”  
  


“I did.  I mean, think about this.”  Zoro found himself suddenly flustered.  “I mean not at first of course.  I mean yeah you’re-”  Zoro steeled himself and looked to face him.  “I’d be stupid not to!”

 

Sanji stared at Zoro’s overly serious scowl. “Ha, that hardly made any sense moss brain, even for you.”

 

“This, whatever this is,” Sanji continued.  “I’d like figure it out.”  It was Sanji’s turn to look off to the side awkwardly.  “I’m just not sure where to start.”

 

Zoro’s stomach rumbled.

 

“Well love cook,” he laughed.  “While I’d love to  continue this uh, _conversation_ our friends out there are no doubt destroying your hard days work.”

 

Sanji leaned his head back and sighed.  “Yeah, if there’s anything left.”  He turned back to look at Zoro,  “This really isn’t the best time for this is it?”  Reluctantly, he took a step back and began reshuffling his clothes back together.  He’d waited this long, he can wait a bit longer.

 

Once the pair deemed themselves presentable, they walked together to meet up with their friends. 

 

“You know,”  Zoro said, reaching to fix the collar on Sanji’s shirt,  “I would have done this sooner, but I kinda thought you’d hate me.”

  
“You idiot,” Sanji laughed.  “I couldn’t hate you if I tried.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay I finished part two! I plan on writing more one-shots with these bastards, but as always comments/suggestions are welcome!


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